How to Hide in Plain Sight is a powerful story about a young woman’s struggle to come to terms with her mental illness, her family, and the boy she once ran far away from to save him from herself. OCD is a disorder of obsession. It’s not always something you can see – endlessly washing your hands, locking locks, or counting things – but patterns of thinking. Often invisible. Constant. Torturous. This novel brings thoughtful clarity to a disorder that can be largely misunderstood, filtering it through the lens of a young woman plagued by her endless Worries.
Eliot is the youngest of her large, ungodly rich, family. Her oldest brother is thirty years older than her, and she often felt like the odd man out. Henry, on the other hand, was her Irish twin, only a year older than her, and they were inseparable – until he died. His death sent a shockwave through their family, and left Eliot even more disconnected than ever before. Not long after, she developed obsessive compulsive disorder which manifested in intrusive thought patterns she could not escape from. The story begins with Eliot returning to the family’s private island at Lake Huron for her brother’s wedding. She hasn’t seen and has barely spoken to any of them for the three years she’s been off in New York, developing routines to keep her Worries at bay. She’s terrified to see them again, afraid that they’ll trigger the Worries. She was prepared to see them, she had a spiel to placate them and everything, mostly the truth, and then she sees Manual, her childhood best friend – another someone she pushed away three years ago and hadn’t spoken to since.
This book is incredible. The kind of book I know I’ll be thinking about for years to come. It is a stunning representation of what OCD might look like for someone who manifests the disorder mostly through thoughts, trapped in their own brain by thought spirals Emma Noyes illustrates in a way that makes perfect sense. The author herself has the same disorder and wanted to write a story that captured her experience.
Eliot is constantly caught up in her thoughts, which are mostly horrifying, terrible, and untrue, but outside of that struggle, life is happening around her. I thought making her the youngest child of a family with children spaced out so much was another unique aspect of humanity to include. How strange it must be to have siblings you never lived in the same home with because they were grown adults, even married, by the time you were born. Eliot has many thoughts about that dynamic, and her voice is so strong and the prose so beautiful that I found myself highlighting passages everywhere.
Manny and Eliot were the kind of best friends everyone dreams of having. Bosom buddies, practically siblings. She latched onto him in the absence of Henry, and so did her mother Wendy, allowing him to sleep over and come on vacations with them when the other siblings never had that option with their friends. His own parents were distant and often absent, and it worked for them. They know each other better than any other souls on Earth. He even knows her Worries. Through the narrative, we’re shown snapshots of their relationship through the years, right up until the moment she makes her decision to leave everything she’s known behind and strike out to New York alone.
I liked Manual. He didn’t coddle her. He showed anger and frustration when he wasn’t heard or given a chance, which felt authentic to the kind of relationship they had. A shorthand sort of connection, where they didn’t always have to say things out loud to understand one another. He always told her to never lie to him about her disorder – a true friend. He’s wonderful, and their relationship was handled so well and with great care by the author.
By the end, I was in tears. Realizations Eliot had, the long-overdue conversations, and the things she allowed herself to feel…it was a beautiful ending to a tension ridden story that was so skillfully and wonderfully written. I was lucky enough to receive this book as an advanced reader’s copy from Netgalley & the publisher, but I’ve also preordered a paperback copy. I already know this is going to become a well-weathered volume in my home library. Please read it.
Details
Title:: How to Hide in Plain Sight
Author:: Emma Noyes
Genre:: Literary Fiction/Romance
Publisher:: Berkley
Length:: 400 pages
Audio Length:: 10h 16m
Audiobook Narrator:: Emily Stewart
Audiobook Publisher:: Penguin Audio
Published:: September 10th, 2024
The Litertarian Rating:: 5-Stars
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